Our extensive guide to Sikh Dating

Some other successful ploys people have used to capture the affection of a crush: Kiran, 26, arranged for their friend in common, Jas, to throw a house party and invite her and her wannabe beau. “I only chatted with Prithpal for about 15 minutes the whole night,” she says. “But the next day, he called Jas and asked for my number, so making that little bit of extra effort was worth it.”

Bally, 23, “accidentally” sent a witty e-mail to the object of her affection, instead of a friend, about her fabulous weekend plans. “When he responded in confusion, I quickly replied, ‘Argh, I didn’t mean to send that to you. But how are you anyway?’ and we started flirting with each other that way,” she says.

Once you’re face-to-face, there are some simple rules to follow: Play it cool. “You want him to know you’re interested, not completely smitten,”. “To do that, keep your contact to a brief conversation at first. Remember, your aim here is to pique the interest, so fight the urge to corner the other person and tell them your entire life story.” And keep an eye on how much you drink; it’s hard to be aloof when you’re gazing up with lovesick puppy eyes.

Another tip: Stick with a three-strikes-and-you’re-out mind-set. “By setting yourself a non-negotiable mental deadline, you ensure that you won’t become too emotionally invested, because you’ve already made a pact with yourself to bow out once you’ve given it your best shot,”. This way, you can walk away thinking Oh well. Their loss, rather than feeling like hot stuff totally rejected you.

The catch with chasing someone is that the more you try to hook them, the harder it is to see the signs that their not willing to be caught. “If you’re convinced that there could be something between you, it’s easy to misread the signals there sending because your feelings are at stake,” And the big problem with that is...people aren’t blind.

Think about it. Two or three accidental meetings is one thing, but if it keeps happening, you run the risk of becoming one of two things: 

Just ask Rosie, 25. “I ‘ran into’ Gee a couple of times to get his attention, and while he didn’t completely ignore me, he never actually asked me out, despite being given ample opportunity,” she recalls. “But I was sure he’d come around...and in a way he did. One night at a mutual friend’s party, he turned me into a laughing stock in front of all our friends! — I was staring at him all night, and he was drunk and wanted to have a laugh! Needless to say, I was shattered.”  

There are a couple of lessons to be learned here. Not everyone out there is as genuine as you’d want them to be so be careful about who you offer your heart to “And if the other doesn’t make a move, you can assume that they either felt it but just aren’t interested in a relationship right now — for whatever reason — or the romantic interest was one-sided.”   wanted to have a laugh! Needless to say, I was shattered.”


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